The Magic Bullet ( or the Health Benefits of Procrastination)

It sits in its original packing box, mocking me. I can't count how many times, Nigel has passed it

 by without any notice. I could open it and put it on our crowded kitchen counter. There it

would live amongst the blender, an aging toaster, dead can opener, and a revolving cast of dishes, cups,

etc. Should he one day actually notice its existence, he will undoubtedly inquire as to its function.

There will be a pithy comment, such as, “Don't you already have something like this ?” My prepared

rebuttal: “ Well, no dear, this is the MAGIC Bullet”. (Not to be confused with the baby Bullet,

hibernating peacefully in a distant cabinet)

How proud was I to resist the 4 a.m. TV pitch ! “ If you act now, you will receive... BS”

It was my good friend who performed the evil task. Says she: “ I make these delicious., healthy

drinks and I have already lost 75.3 pounds in 5 days, and look, I 'm a natural redhead again..” I was

actually brainwashed into believing that a smoothie of kale, chia pods, salmon, swiss chard, seaweed

and bananas would be an epicurean delight.

So, now, every time I move the box to sweep, or manage a side glance as I go for mail, I

believe that I loose a pound or two. ( and aren't those golden strands amongst the silver ?)